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Виктору Цою посвящается


ОН идёт по улице, не замечая неодобряющих взглядов вокруг… ОН живёт своей собственной, отстранённой, понятной абсолютно немногим жизнью… Его сущность? ОН и сам точно не знает… Не уверен… Но главное для НЕГО это Свобода. Не та свобода, о которой надрываясь кричат многие… Нет… Не свобода слова, не свобода выбора… Всё это и так у НЕГО есть… Собственная внутренняя Свобода. Это такое сладкое чувство! Что для этого нужно? Совсем чуть чуть. Просто жить, не оглядываясь назад. Жить не прошлым, не будущим, жить моментом! Жить для себя! Не стараться быть таким, каким быть положено, каким хотят видеть все вокруг… Не бороться против себя, своих желаний! Эгоизм? Возможно… Но ЕМУ всё, что ОН делает безумно нравится. Нравится без дела шататься по улицам… Нравится играть вечерами на гитаре… Нравится затягиваться каким не будь «Космосом» и с чувством полного удовлетворения наблюдать, как вьются в воздухе тонкие, изящные струйки дыма. Нравится пить портвейн… Чёрная куртка из грубой кожи… Чёрные узкие джинсы… Булавки, цепочки, напульсники… Старые изношенные ботинки с высоким голенищем на шнурках… Или обычные кеды... И плевать на злые, а иногда испуганные взгляды!

ОН любит жить! Любит может даже больше, чем любят порядочные до неприличия, достойные примера или даже восхищения люди… Только живёт ОН не так, как пишут в умных книжках, как учит нас мораль, как требует общество… ОН живёт так, как умеет. И большего ему не надо. ОН не любит, когда ЕГО называют панком… Нет. Всётаки панки это более озлобленные, чем романтические особы, хотя ЕМУ они вполне симпатичны! Но гораздо ближе по душе красивое и загадочное слово «битник»… Да! ОН битник! У НЕГО совершенно другие ценности! ОН может запросто поменять телевизор на желанную всем сердцем пластинку старой, возможно почти всеми забытой Рок группы. И обязательно поменял бы! Только если бы у него был телевизор… Он может целыми неделями жить без гроша в кармане! Почему? Да потому, что битники народ добрый и совершенно не равнодушный. Друг друга всегда обязательно выручат! ОН только постучится в окно в грязном проходном дворе… И ЕГО сразу пригласят войти. Соберут на стол, поставят бутылку портвейна, дадут гитару… А ведь таких проходных дворов очень много! И везде двери для НЕГО открыты, везде ЕГО ждут такие же нестандартные, не вписывающиеся в рамки люди… ОН часто слышит за спиной «Гопник!» Но никогда не обижается. Просто ОН не может понять ПОЧЕМУ? Почему гопник? Потому, что люди видят мир под другим углом? Выходит ОН тоже имеет право считать, что все вокруг гопники, только потому, что ОН не разделяет их взглядов? Впрочем ему такое право не нужно! ЕМУ всё равно. ОН живёт для себя. «Кретин» скажете вы? Может быть…

15 января 2004 года.

(C) виТоШа




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