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БИБЛИОТЕКА

Стоит того, чтобы жить ...


Такое серое, серое и унылое небо. Даже звезд не видно сквозь пелену тяжелых облаков. Лишь фонари - одинокие стражи света, - роняют на холодную землю круги белого искусственного пламени. И в такие вечера часто хочется думать о чем-то загадочном и непостижимом, барьером стоящим между миром привычных нам, осязаемых вещей и тем, что человек никогда не поймет, пока не придет время... Речь идет о смерти. Что это? Что есть смерть? Вечная темнота? А может быть, другая жизнь? Следующая ступень человеческого развития? Ответы на эти вопросы знают лишь те, кто не ДОЖИЛ...

Вот-вот сейчас ты увидишь его! Мелькнет за окном знакомая фигура, затем шаги на лестнице... Сейчас он войдет и улыбнется - радостно, по-доброму, словно старый знакомый... Еще совсем недолго ждать... И вдруг понимаешь, что его больше нет. Больше нет... Нет... Нет... Он ушел рано-рано утром, не попрощавшись, не сказав даже, куда уходит и зачем. И в этом несправедливость и горечь. И этого ты никогда ему не простишь. Так безмолвно уходят, уплывают от нас сроки детства, будто легкие и прозрачные паруса, что вечно скитаются по волнам Времени... И телефон будет молчать. И вещи, до сих пор хранящие тепло своего хозяина, вскоре станут холодными и ПУСТЫМИ... Не будет больше голоса, такого близкого и родного, а шаги, звуки, отзвуки шагов затихнут вдали, растворятся словно легкий дым на ветру. И только тогда, когда всего этого не будет, ты поймешь, как тяжело терять близкого друга, человека, который тебе так дорог... Ты поймешь, что жизнь бессмысленна без него, как будто в ней образовалась пустота, холодная бесконечная бездна, которую ничем уже не закрыть. И она будет жить в твоем сердце... Тогда призрачный поезд уйдет в Бесконечность с неведомого вокзала и больше никогда не вернется, как ни кричи ему вслед. "Смерть стоит того, чтобы жить..." - этим все сказано. И все же для кого-то Она наступает слишком рано...

25 августа 2001 года.

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